Summer recap

Oh, boy - what a bad blogger I've been! Our summer has gone fast and been SO much better than I feared. I really dreaded the "all day, every day" feeling of summer and was sure that Carver would regress with just me as a therapist. And that I'd lose my mind. But he's been doing great!! So did I! Here's what's new:

No more naps - except for that classic dozing in the car
He's jumping like crazy. Get that kid a trampoline! :)
I hear him playing around with sounds. Big "p" sounds in particular.
We got a swingset and it's been fabulous for him. The kids play together well, too.
Carver's on a waiting list for private OT services.
He has an appointment with a pediatric neurologist next week
Preschool will be in the afternoon this year, starting Sept. 8th
Carver starts swimming lessons in a couple weeks!
He's talking so much more, has lots to tell us about.
He wants softer karate chops and tickles (a good sign!)
the yum-yum stays in the bed

We didn't have a really regular routine since there were so many trips and adventures over the summer, but he thrived on the new things to do and see. I loved seeing him play with his sisters this summer, but I think everyone is ready for a little space. I'm excited for afternoon preschool because his little sister still naps and I am GUARANTEED peace and quiet 4 days a week. WOW! Also, we can go to library storytimes and stuff together. And preschool gets the grumpy time.... when Carver really needs stuff to do. He has a new teacher this year, she seems great, he's super excited.

The pictures are from our weekend picnic dinner up at Mt. Rainier. It is rare to have any pictures of Carver turn out well, but these were pretty good!

The Black Mamba

Monday night our family attended "The Reptile Man" show at the elementary school. $2 a person and we saw load of creepy reptiles, not the least of which was the infamous Black Mamba snake of Africa. It's a grey, long skinny snake with a black mouth. It gets to be 15 feet long, slithers 10 mph and kills 9/10 victims. The Reptile Man said that when they feed the males (who are much more aggressive than the females), they drop a mouse in and the snakes can bite the mouse TWICE before the mouse even reaches the floor of the cage. Is that scary or what?!! All around a friendly sort of animal. I'd show you a picture, (I even found one online), but I hate snakes. It totally creeped me out. I can't see an close-up of my least favorite creature on my little boy's blog!

So Mr. Reptile teases the crowd by pretending to lose control of this vicious predator and sends two black fabric springy things FLYING into the audience. Carver was nervous about the whole of snakes to begin with, but he'd been doing okay once we got there. It was crowded and we were at the very back, holding him up to see. Thankfully, he was only startled when the pretend snakes jumped out. I was so proud of him not getting freaked out by anything that night, despite the crowds and all the big reptiles.

The truly funny part is that when the real Black Mamba came out, Carver put his hands up to his neck and goes, "awwww" - the sound he makes for holding babies and little kittens and things. We were laughing so hard. I didn't want to forget, but we probably won't. We keep quoting him and saying, "awww, the little Black Mamba." Even after his apparent affection for venemous snakes, he wasn't interested in staying to touch the big albino python with the girls. Not that I blame him a bit!

Things I don't want to forget

Carver gave me a dandelion yesterday on the way home from the bus stop. I can't be sure it's the first time, but I think so. Very sweet.

He played outside yesterday while I weeded and got all friendly with worms and caterpillars. He wriggled a worm back and forth between his thumb and forefinger until it became 2 worms. :) He kept saying, "friend - worm!"

On the way to the bus stop today, a wasp landed on his arm. I looked down in the stroller and he was saying, "awww" to his new friend like he does for hugging babies and stuffed animals. I flicked it off and smashed it. No more wasps for friends, please.

We had jello at lunch yesterday in little plastic cups because he watched me make it the day before and saw Lydia take one in her lunch to school. He was SO excited. Sat right up there, asked for a straw and tried to drink it! :)

I keep forgetting to blog about the lack of SPIO. After months of hoping and trying, I decided it wasn't helping and it wasn't worth the hassle of keeping it clean. I still completely support SPIO and encourage it for others. I've heard enough amazing success stories first hand to believe it works for a lot of kids. It just didn't help Carver.

He's telling me lots about school lately. "Dance. Circle Time. Freeze. Stop." Or "Brown table. Snack. Cereal." I love it. I'm hearing more and more verbs, too. "eat snack" or "play sand" or "watch Kipper." Hurray!

the smell of drool and other mountains to climb

I realized the other day that I'd been rather subconsciously waiting for SOMETHING to blog about here. And then I remembered that the main point of this blog was to record thoughts and feelings and ideas relating to Carver - everything I don't want to forget. I'm committing to be better at that!

Right now what's on my mind is social interaction. Carver started primary at our church and attends a class for 3 year olds, "sunbeams." The first hour they sit on chairs with lots of other kids, sing songs, listen to a lesson. The next hour is in a little classroom with only his class. This is a HUGE change from the "nursery" he attended before, a 2 hour block with toys and books and snacks. The transition hasn't been easy for us. He wasn't excited to leave nursery, but he likes being with his big sister for the first part, sharing time. And he has lots of friends in his class. His dad sits with him during sharing time and helps him stay on his chair, not run around the classroom, etc... I think the first or second week, he zipped right up the aisle to try and touch the pretend birthday cake on the table in the front of the room. :) Week by week, he's more excited about sunbeams and he likes that Daddy comes with him. He's adjusting.

It's actually much harder for me because I feel like he's outgrowing life as a toddler. He's expected to do more preschooler type activities and his peers are noticing his differences more and more. I've had kids say that he smells bad - either his breath or they say he needs his diaper changed. Now, I'm not losing sleep over what other 3 year olds think - BUT it clues me into what's coming ahead. And honestly, drool smells bad. His shirts sometimes do smell like that. I try and try to get them clean, but we just can't help it. And his peers are all into who's potty-trained and who's not. That's a very normal issue and Carver could care less what the other kids are doing. But someday, some of that is going to sink in.

Last week we went to the park after the bus stop and there were lots of kids from the neighborhood there. Not any truly big kids, everyone was under 10 or so. Carver had the HARDEST time. He couldn't run around and have his space to play on his own, kids kept banging on the metal slide and scaring him (not on purpose) and it was just too much for him. He cried and cried. Sometimes he stopped dead in his tracks and cried. At one point, he came sobbing to me and put his face hard on my shoulder, while I held him and hurt for how frustrated he must be. One of the neighborhood moms asked how old he was. I knew what the underlying question was and told her he was 3, but he has some speech and sensory integration issues. I got an "oh" and then she didn't know what to say, although I could tell it confirmed her suspicions. I don't blame her at all - it's the right kind of question if you want to know what's up with a kid that's not acting his age. But the whole experience left me feeling exhausted and discouraged.

Looking through a different angle, I've seen Carver grow more and more capable of helping around the house. He cleans up his toys better - he especially loves to help rescue all his bath toys as the water goes down the drain. He washes the dishes a little when he plays in the bubbles. The other day he came off the bus holding his little baggie of gum and a chewy tube that he takes to school. He told me, "homework!" He wants to be just like his sisters. That same day when THEY came home, he went running for his backpack to find homework to do with them. I picked up a new alphabet coloring book for him at the store so he has his own homework book. The funny part is that he has very little patience for coloring and table work like that. But the desire to be included is real.

Carver is learning letters - M, O, S, are his best ones. He knows some of the sounds to those and K and T and P. Thanks to the "Letter Factory" for hours and hours of repetition. :) I've been working on counting and wondered if we'd EVER get past 2. Really, he still uses 2 words together MOST often so that makes sense. We've occasionally heard him say "3" and the other day at the park, a QUIET day before the kids came home from school, I was pushing him on the swing and counting each push. He not only said the numbers with me but anticipated a couple of them! WOW! I figured that the movement of the swing was regulating to him, enough to help him get those words out in the right order. It was very cool.

Carver's preschool class has grown and split! He is in with a new teacher, who I've met and really liked. He doesn't mind at all. He's with a friend, Jordan, a little girl that his old teacher told me about. She said that they run around together and are such cute little buddies - pulling on each other's arms to go play. When she first emailed me, she said to ask him about her. I did and his face really did light right up! He said, "snap, snap" like an alligator and I think he was trying to tell me what they played together. I'm so grateful for preschool!

AND Carver has been really growing in his friendship with his little sister, Grace. They play in the bathtub together and get into mischief, too, these days. A couple nights ago after the school science fair, we came in and Grace was super tired and cranky. She sat and cried by the door while I looked for a pacifier. Carver took the one out of his mouth and popped it in hers to calm her down. I LOVE that. He is such a sweet boy!

Back in the swing of things

I'm feeling all better, I had my hard day and now I'm back into regular mode. I'm excited and grateful for all that we've seen in terms of progress and we have much to look forward to!

We didn't have speech until this week. Wednesday to be exact. She answered a lot of my questions, thoughts about preschool. I should be able to take Carver to observe the preschool, maybe ride the bus with him or follow it the first couple days. They teach standard preschool curriculum - shapes, colors, etc... potty training is a high priority, as well. I've been dreading that for years, seriously. But if they want to try it, we'll do our part. I guess it's got to get worse before it can get better. Pull-ups are so stinkin' expensive, though! She thinks morning would be better for Carver, as do I. I need to call today since I still haven't heard from a preschool teacher.

Our ST said that the term for Carver's speech difficulty is "apraxia" which is basically poor motor planning in your mouth. There are 3 types/degrees. The first is just verbal - difficult with speech. The second is oral and relates to swallowing and eating, drool, etc... The third is general apraxia and affects the entire body. Despite Carver's lack of coordination in his motor skills, his apraxia is somewhere between verbal and oral. Swallowing and eating hasn't been a problem, but he obviously has a hard time containing his saliva and feeling drips, etc... This is not disheartening to me. It is just a name for what we've already known. Having a name gives me more books to read, websites to browse. Check out apraxia-kids.org for more on this.

Latest successes:

Lots more words strung together. Mostly 2 words, sometimes 3 if you disregard pauses between them. Even "green lawn mower."

I feel like colors are getting better for him, he's right more often than he used to be. :)

He's counting. I swear I hear him get these right half the time, even up to 10. It's hard to decipher his language, though, even knowing what he's trying to say. Bless his heart for trying!!

He's been doing much more imaginative play - crawling around and making animal sounds. A snake on the kitchen table for example or a lion crawling around my room. I might limit animals to the floor, but it's so cute.

He also assigns familial roles to his toys now - moms and dads mostly. I love seeing that. and usually the dad is the big one, so he's thinking about it.

He sits through books better than he used to, listens and wants to talk about the pictures and the action. He loves Green Eggs and Ham right now. And truck books. Are you My Mother, too? He likes to answer "no" whenever I read, "is the cow his mother? is the dog his mother?" It's great!

Carver has been learning to be more gentle with Grace, even trying to play with her a little. The other day she was trying to tickle him and he looked totally surprised and unsure what to do. He let her play around a bit and then stood up and wanted to squeeze her. It was sweet to see him want to show her affection like that.

He's talking about bubbles and pancakes and loves to make pretend pancakes in the bath.

I could probably keep going, but this is enough for today. Thank you to the many friends and family for your support and love on my rough days and on the good ones, too.

the flip side

I haven't really done more than speech therapy reports here. Those are good times, where I feel direction and hope for Carver's improving communication. There are many, many other times that things are just HARD. Without intending to complain, here's the flip side.

Carver always needs something in his mouth - pacifier, food, gum, sippy cup. It's an exhausting balance to try and fill that very real need with age appropriate behavior while maintaining a responsible calorie intake!

He doesn't play by himself. He can keep himself busy occasionally, but very rarely is he doing something I approve of. It is difficult to fold laundry, clean bathrooms, make dinner because he wants my constant, undivided attention. I know that some of that must be my own doing, giving in to his demands too often. But he lacks skills to do imaginative play on his own, patience to do fine motor projects and self control enough to stay out of trouble. I'm not sure how to manage this one.

He is very messy. He wants to eat all the time, as I've already said. So I am constantly battling over food. Once he eats, he routinely smears his yogurt on the table, dumps his cup of milk, dips and tears, throws, etc... It's frustrating to say the least. By the time I've cleaned up snack #1, he's grazing for more milk, gum or snack #2.

Today I tried to do some cleaning - getting to things that never get their turn around here. I managed to do more than usual, but had to turn on movies and in the end, I'm frustrated because it was such a battle to keep him off the wet floor, out of the piles I was sorting, etc...

It has not been an easy day. But we've had worse. Sometimes I feel like it is very hard to be Carver's mom. But he's so sweet taking me by the hand to invite me to play with him. I know that doesn't last! He's very into Mommy right now, which is fun and very tiring. It makes me grateful to have preschool to look forward to. He needs the attention and therapy there as much as I need the break around here!