Monday, August 25, 2008

the flip side

I haven't really done more than speech therapy reports here. Those are good times, where I feel direction and hope for Carver's improving communication. There are many, many other times that things are just HARD. Without intending to complain, here's the flip side.

Carver always needs something in his mouth - pacifier, food, gum, sippy cup. It's an exhausting balance to try and fill that very real need with age appropriate behavior while maintaining a responsible calorie intake!

He doesn't play by himself. He can keep himself busy occasionally, but very rarely is he doing something I approve of. It is difficult to fold laundry, clean bathrooms, make dinner because he wants my constant, undivided attention. I know that some of that must be my own doing, giving in to his demands too often. But he lacks skills to do imaginative play on his own, patience to do fine motor projects and self control enough to stay out of trouble. I'm not sure how to manage this one.

He is very messy. He wants to eat all the time, as I've already said. So I am constantly battling over food. Once he eats, he routinely smears his yogurt on the table, dumps his cup of milk, dips and tears, throws, etc... It's frustrating to say the least. By the time I've cleaned up snack #1, he's grazing for more milk, gum or snack #2.

Today I tried to do some cleaning - getting to things that never get their turn around here. I managed to do more than usual, but had to turn on movies and in the end, I'm frustrated because it was such a battle to keep him off the wet floor, out of the piles I was sorting, etc...

It has not been an easy day. But we've had worse. Sometimes I feel like it is very hard to be Carver's mom. But he's so sweet taking me by the hand to invite me to play with him. I know that doesn't last! He's very into Mommy right now, which is fun and very tiring. It makes me grateful to have preschool to look forward to. He needs the attention and therapy there as much as I need the break around here!


donna said...

You are amazing and Carver is so lucky! And thank heaven for preschool it couldn't come at a better time!

carlen said...

all mothers have days like this! you may just be having a heavy dose lately! and heaven knows there are seasons in our lives that our homes will be less presentable because our children need us MORE! (mine is and i don't even have as good an excuse)!

good for you for accepting his invitation to go play as often as you can bear to leave a project undone . . . that is something that is hard for me, but when they're all tucked in bed and I'm finally getting back to that one (or those many) undone project(s) i smile because i know i did the right thing earlier in the day!

hang in there until preschool!!!

Don and Amy Bennion said...

Very interesting...I think you are absolutely amazing to do this when you have three other kids! Not like you have a choice, right? But still, it is so admirable. Sounds like you and he are learning alot.