Today I took Carver (and his 2 year old sister) to chat with the teacher of a local preschool, run by a Lutheran church in the area. The website, their blog, my emails with the coordinator had all been very impressive. I figured it was worth a shot. I needed to know if I had other options, rather than the developmental preschool he's at.
Fridays are generally hard for the 3 of us. We are all tired and we usually spend the morning at home so I can clean, which makes everyone a little cranky. We headed over there before lunchtime just to add "hungry" to the mix.
It was a typical preschool classroom and she seemed very nice. My emotions have been close to the surface all week, I've been literally losing sleep at night worrying about this. I was perhaps not in the best frame of mind to have this meeting. The kids were trying to ransack the toys while I discussed Carver and heard about their program. Within a few minutes, I realized that this was not going to be an option for him and wanted to get out of there ASAP. I wish now that I would've found a way to do just that. Instead, I chased the kids around the room and cleaned up all the stuff they got out, while trying to concentrate on the sweet preschool teacher voice telling me he seemed like a typical preschooler, excited about a new place. Her words were all kind, but the look in her eyes revealed the feeling of "he's a handful, she's crazy to consider this." But, in all fairness, I was so caught up in my own flood of emotions that this might be totally off. Less than 5 minutes into it, I realized tears were coming. I prayed and prayed that I could hold them off to the drive home. But that was not to be. She had to console me, offer me tissues, for crying out loud. That's when she told me about their routine and program and I really knew this would never work. 18 kids, 2 teachers, circle time, letter tracing, art, all good things. But she reminded him maybe 5 times that the neat little house was just a reading place and not for toys. 3 times she reminded him not to go out the back door. Twice he got himself a drink with a cup without asking. 2 seconds for me to imagine their "sensory table" of water/rice spilled all over the floor if Carver played there. She didn't say no. She said we'd have lots of communication, that we'd need a few weeks as a trial to see how he interacts with the class and that I might need to stay with him, as they'd done before with a special needs boy. Clearly not an option for me and his little sister, not to mention the hurt if it didn't work out and the challenges with that.
I cried more in the car, more at home, more on the phone to my sweet husband, more to my poor neighbor, more at home, while I tried to take a mini-nap with Carver. It's been one of those days.
It was crazy to consider a typical preschool, of course. I should've known that. It's brought to the forefront all my worries about kindergarten. Which I do NOT need right now. It also made me extremely grateful that we have a developmental preschool at all, poor parent-teacher communication and all. And that alone is probably worth all the tears.
Showing posts with label preschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preschool. Show all posts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Help wanted
When Carver’s 2 older sisters were preschool age, I developed a sense of educational self-reliance and belief that teaching is most effective at home. My feelings about preschool are complicated, but the foundation that I always return to is simple: preschool is a helpful social experience that prepares children for a classroom environment. And that’s it. Neither of my girls learned anything in preschool that they didn’t already learn at home. As they progress into elementary school, they gradually begin to be introduced to new concepts and I’m the helper instead of the main teacher. It’s worked for them. It’s worked for me.
So Carver is not fitting this mold at all. I flounder to provide all the sensory input he’d like (which is roughly as much as is humanly possible to dish out) and he isn’t hungry at ALL for preschool “curriculum,” unlike his sisters who soaked it all up. Counting, letters and shapes have come and gone with his interest level. It is incredibly discouraging to see those regressions. And baffling, too.
I have the same motherly desire to do it all, be Carver’s primary teacher and therapist. At the same time, I feel so hopelessly ill-equipped for that role. It is a sticky place to be. I know that raising and teaching a child with special needs requires a team of specialists, with me to hold all the pieces together. Where do you find all the help necessary? That is the hardest part.
We found a fabulous speech therapist who has helped Carver tremendously. I’m impressed with how she pushes him each week, building on what he can do and stretching him just enough. I hear more articles, more complete sentences and more articulation all the time. He works SO hard for her! And when I try to get him to practice at home, I get “No, no, no – Jennifer’s office.” That is clearly the place he associates with that level of effort! And it is SO MUCH WORK for him. You can’t imagine how he watches my mouth, labors with his own to try to make the same sounds that come out so naturally for the rest of us. He just has to work for every sound.
Carver’s preschool is a disappointment. Last year he THRIVED. He came home happy and it was clear that he was learning routines and academics with adults who connected with him. It’s not happening this year. I don’t know what happened. All new teachers came in and it’s just not the same. In all fairness, we do have a few excellent therapists and assistants there. And I believe that everyone is trying hard. But it’s a government funded program, required by law to provide a minimum level of “services” and I feel like we get the minimum services required and nothing more. But what are my other choices? VERY expensive preschools with waiting lists in other cities. What’s a mom to do? I come back to my foundational belief that preschool is just a great social training opportunity… and yet somehow that’s not matching up with Carver’s needs. I have to admit that I need help teaching him colors and letters and all that good stuff. Either I need to find new team members to help me in his education (but WHERE?!) or I’m left to prepare him on my own for kindergarten. And that last option feels like a huge burden indeed.
So Carver is not fitting this mold at all. I flounder to provide all the sensory input he’d like (which is roughly as much as is humanly possible to dish out) and he isn’t hungry at ALL for preschool “curriculum,” unlike his sisters who soaked it all up. Counting, letters and shapes have come and gone with his interest level. It is incredibly discouraging to see those regressions. And baffling, too.
I have the same motherly desire to do it all, be Carver’s primary teacher and therapist. At the same time, I feel so hopelessly ill-equipped for that role. It is a sticky place to be. I know that raising and teaching a child with special needs requires a team of specialists, with me to hold all the pieces together. Where do you find all the help necessary? That is the hardest part.
We found a fabulous speech therapist who has helped Carver tremendously. I’m impressed with how she pushes him each week, building on what he can do and stretching him just enough. I hear more articles, more complete sentences and more articulation all the time. He works SO hard for her! And when I try to get him to practice at home, I get “No, no, no – Jennifer’s office.” That is clearly the place he associates with that level of effort! And it is SO MUCH WORK for him. You can’t imagine how he watches my mouth, labors with his own to try to make the same sounds that come out so naturally for the rest of us. He just has to work for every sound.
Carver’s preschool is a disappointment. Last year he THRIVED. He came home happy and it was clear that he was learning routines and academics with adults who connected with him. It’s not happening this year. I don’t know what happened. All new teachers came in and it’s just not the same. In all fairness, we do have a few excellent therapists and assistants there. And I believe that everyone is trying hard. But it’s a government funded program, required by law to provide a minimum level of “services” and I feel like we get the minimum services required and nothing more. But what are my other choices? VERY expensive preschools with waiting lists in other cities. What’s a mom to do? I come back to my foundational belief that preschool is just a great social training opportunity… and yet somehow that’s not matching up with Carver’s needs. I have to admit that I need help teaching him colors and letters and all that good stuff. Either I need to find new team members to help me in his education (but WHERE?!) or I’m left to prepare him on my own for kindergarten. And that last option feels like a huge burden indeed.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Wake-up call
Lately, I've faced a lot of reality. I exchanged emails with Carver's preschool teacher and SLP -a speech language pathologist, formerly known as a "speech therapist." :) It turns out Carver's not speaking much at school. I had figured that his IEPs and progress reports reflected his ability to perform in structured, formal testing situations and didn't worry too much about the low age equivalencies given. But I wanted to be sure. I was really surprised to find out that he's NOT talking at school. Strings of 3 words at BEST. Mostly single-word utterances. WHAT?! He's talking volumes at home. Granted, articulation is a major hurdle. But he's not letting that stop him. He speaks in paragraphs at home, disjointed sentences strung together with semi-colons or ellipses. So this is a major discrepancy. And it has me concerned for MANY reasons:
1. How can speech therapy be effective at school if he's not talking?
2. Why isn't he comfortable enough at school to talk? He used to talk up a storm at school - last year, different classroom, different teacher and therapist. What's happened?
3. I can't count on the school system. I've been coasting and it's time to get back in the driver's seat.
4. The clock is ticking and we're just under 2 years away from kindergarten. I'm kicking myself for wasting so much time.
SO... I'm diving into the search for a private speech therapist. I'd been on a waiting list and didn't know what else to do. Now we've been accepted to the local therapy center, but I'm not just taking whoever I get. Next Monday we meet with the first recommendation from my pediatrician. (HELLO?! Why didn't I ask him sooner? He's fabulous and knows an awful lot more than I realize.) I'm willing to drive about 30 minutes for therapy, the local place is 15 minutes. I'm hoping we're looking at every week. I've resisted the cost ($25 co-pay each visit), but how can I NOT do it?
But more importantly, it's good for me to have these moments where I get myself back on track at being Carver's #1 advocate. It's exhausting to worry all the time about him, to be constantly teaching and coaching him. I have 3 other kids, laundry, dishes, meals, church responsibilities, a husband and so many more parts to my life. It's a sticky balance between feeling guilty that I'm NOT doing more for Carver and letting myself relax to the point that I'm not doing much at all.
Whew. Add to all that the fact that I keep looking at my sweet 4 year old and wondering when he'll use the toilet and I want to throw in the towel completely!
1. How can speech therapy be effective at school if he's not talking?
2. Why isn't he comfortable enough at school to talk? He used to talk up a storm at school - last year, different classroom, different teacher and therapist. What's happened?
3. I can't count on the school system. I've been coasting and it's time to get back in the driver's seat.
4. The clock is ticking and we're just under 2 years away from kindergarten. I'm kicking myself for wasting so much time.
SO... I'm diving into the search for a private speech therapist. I'd been on a waiting list and didn't know what else to do. Now we've been accepted to the local therapy center, but I'm not just taking whoever I get. Next Monday we meet with the first recommendation from my pediatrician. (HELLO?! Why didn't I ask him sooner? He's fabulous and knows an awful lot more than I realize.) I'm willing to drive about 30 minutes for therapy, the local place is 15 minutes. I'm hoping we're looking at every week. I've resisted the cost ($25 co-pay each visit), but how can I NOT do it?
But more importantly, it's good for me to have these moments where I get myself back on track at being Carver's #1 advocate. It's exhausting to worry all the time about him, to be constantly teaching and coaching him. I have 3 other kids, laundry, dishes, meals, church responsibilities, a husband and so many more parts to my life. It's a sticky balance between feeling guilty that I'm NOT doing more for Carver and letting myself relax to the point that I'm not doing much at all.
Whew. Add to all that the fact that I keep looking at my sweet 4 year old and wondering when he'll use the toilet and I want to throw in the towel completely!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Back to Preschool 2009
HURRAY! The day we've been waiting for has come. And oh - what a day. What a night before the big day...
We told Carver last night that we were taking him to a doctor in the morning, then play with Grace, eat lunch and hop on the bus to school. It's kinda routine to go through these main events ahead of time. I also use a velcro strip and pictures on the fridge to illustrate each day, at least SOME days. :) Anyway, he went to bed okay but woke up sometime... (Daddy got him first, I'm a little slower to hear things at night) and he tossed and turned and whimpered for hours. He didn't have a fever, his cold is gone, his stomach wasn't making churning noises. He just couldn't sleep. Sometimes he said that something hurt, but it wasn't clear if anything really did. We did drinks of water, a change of pjs and took turns sleeping in his bed. He seemed to calm down when we talked to each other, rubbed his arms and back and head. I began to believe that he wanted to sleep but couldn't - that he had anxiety about today. And I still believe that.
He'd asked questions about the doctor - "look tummy?" No, not this time. "Look ears?" Nope. I didn't know how to explain pediatric neurology to him. Guess I should've thought of that sooner. He asked if the doctor was nice and I had assured him he was. Daddy was coming, too, which probably triggered something unusual to him. Also, it was his first day with a new preschool teacher and the room hadn't been set up completely at the open house. It was new and different, even though we'd done it before. Preschool was after lunch instead of after breakfast. Looking back I think it was a lot to worry about. And we probably should've surprised him with the doctor part. He doesn't mind going to see a doctor and doesn't really need prep for it. I thought he might even be excited. I'll blog about that another day, but it was a really great visit. The office will send us notes from the appointment in a week and I can use them to "remember" all we talked about. It was right about 90 minutes, we got home with time for a little swingset time, some lunch and the Letter Factory as a transitional, calming time before hopping on the bus.
About 12:40 we start waiting for our 12:45 pick-up time. I shoulda known better. Buses are ALWAYS late on the 1st day.
Carver stuck a screwdriver in a random piece of Styrofoam and pretended to paint the house with a terrible squeaking noise.
Then he goofed around with Grace for awhile...
Until it was now 1 pm and I called transportation to make sure we hadn't been forgotten. Nope. Just slow buses.
Grace and Carver were yelling and hitting each other so off to her nap she went. This is actually Carver running to rescue his precious bag of school supplies - Wheat Thins and Kleenex.
And it was just the two of us. And the camera.
He swept the driveway.
He inspected the sewer. He even yelled down there a bit.
Finally, FINALLY the bus came about 1:15. Whew. It was a long wait. He was hesitant, he wanted to wait til it had stopped making those sounds buses make when they brake. Then he climbed on and waved good-bye.
And then it was VERY quiet standing in my driveway. I was a tiny, tiny bit sad about that silence. But mostly happy that we'd made it. I loved the peace and quiet that afternoon - I just need to learn how to manage my days to take the most advantage of it. I should've napped! What a concept!
I worried about how afternoon preschool would be, but Carver came off the bus happy as a clam and didn't melt down until AFTER we'd picked up the girls at their bus stop (another story for another day, but it turns out the school district thinks I can be in 2 places at once) and got in the house. A little quiet time-turned naptime and we survived. I can't let him sleep too long, but he needs a break from everything by 4:30. This just might work.
We told Carver last night that we were taking him to a doctor in the morning, then play with Grace, eat lunch and hop on the bus to school. It's kinda routine to go through these main events ahead of time. I also use a velcro strip and pictures on the fridge to illustrate each day, at least SOME days. :) Anyway, he went to bed okay but woke up sometime... (Daddy got him first, I'm a little slower to hear things at night) and he tossed and turned and whimpered for hours. He didn't have a fever, his cold is gone, his stomach wasn't making churning noises. He just couldn't sleep. Sometimes he said that something hurt, but it wasn't clear if anything really did. We did drinks of water, a change of pjs and took turns sleeping in his bed. He seemed to calm down when we talked to each other, rubbed his arms and back and head. I began to believe that he wanted to sleep but couldn't - that he had anxiety about today. And I still believe that.
He'd asked questions about the doctor - "look tummy?" No, not this time. "Look ears?" Nope. I didn't know how to explain pediatric neurology to him. Guess I should've thought of that sooner. He asked if the doctor was nice and I had assured him he was. Daddy was coming, too, which probably triggered something unusual to him. Also, it was his first day with a new preschool teacher and the room hadn't been set up completely at the open house. It was new and different, even though we'd done it before. Preschool was after lunch instead of after breakfast. Looking back I think it was a lot to worry about. And we probably should've surprised him with the doctor part. He doesn't mind going to see a doctor and doesn't really need prep for it. I thought he might even be excited. I'll blog about that another day, but it was a really great visit. The office will send us notes from the appointment in a week and I can use them to "remember" all we talked about. It was right about 90 minutes, we got home with time for a little swingset time, some lunch and the Letter Factory as a transitional, calming time before hopping on the bus.
About 12:40 we start waiting for our 12:45 pick-up time. I shoulda known better. Buses are ALWAYS late on the 1st day.
Carver stuck a screwdriver in a random piece of Styrofoam and pretended to paint the house with a terrible squeaking noise.
Then he goofed around with Grace for awhile...
Until it was now 1 pm and I called transportation to make sure we hadn't been forgotten. Nope. Just slow buses. Grace and Carver were yelling and hitting each other so off to her nap she went. This is actually Carver running to rescue his precious bag of school supplies - Wheat Thins and Kleenex.
And it was just the two of us. And the camera.
He swept the driveway.
He inspected the sewer. He even yelled down there a bit.
Finally, FINALLY the bus came about 1:15. Whew. It was a long wait. He was hesitant, he wanted to wait til it had stopped making those sounds buses make when they brake. Then he climbed on and waved good-bye.
And then it was VERY quiet standing in my driveway. I was a tiny, tiny bit sad about that silence. But mostly happy that we'd made it. I loved the peace and quiet that afternoon - I just need to learn how to manage my days to take the most advantage of it. I should've napped! What a concept!
I worried about how afternoon preschool would be, but Carver came off the bus happy as a clam and didn't melt down until AFTER we'd picked up the girls at their bus stop (another story for another day, but it turns out the school district thinks I can be in 2 places at once) and got in the house. A little quiet time-turned naptime and we survived. I can't let him sleep too long, but he needs a break from everything by 4:30. This just might work.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Just for fun
Doesn't Carver have the coolest bus driver? She lets him pretend to drive the bus when they have an extra minute at school. This particular morning, they were running early and let me take pictures of it. Carver LOVES vehicles and the bus was his favorite part of school for a long time. :)
I love this one. My view every morning as my little man heads to school. Awww....Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Parent Teacher Conference
Last week Derek and I went to Carver's parent teacher conference. If you've only ever been to a typical PT conference you are WAY missing out! These preschool conferences are amazing. We spent nearly a full hour talking to Carver's teacher, as well as one of his occupational therapists. It's such a different experience than talking for 10 minutes with his sisters' teachers! I love it.
First of all... Carver is extremely well behaved at school - no tantrums, no hitting at all. They were really surprised that we even asked. We were surprised that THEY were surprised! For awhile there Carver was saying about school, "hit... sad... cry." And we'd wonder what that was all about! He hits plenty at home and tantrums are just a part of communication between us. It's relieving and disappointing at the same time to know that he's so much better those 3 hours a day he's away from us! (makes me wonder what we are doing wrong...) But mostly I'm grateful that he's good and that because of that, he's able to get the most out of the program.
He's their "color boy" and knows at least 8 colors. I see him doing shapes at home, as well - stars, triangles, squares, circles. He still knows a few letters, but hasn't been as interested in that lately. They said that he answers questions right, that he sits criss-cross applesauce on the floor (they found that the cool cushion his old teacher liked was making him wiggle more), participates in singing time and knows the routine. He helps other students with their coats and backpacks and LOVES to help bring out the heavy car road map every day. He showed us and and just beamed. Too cute.
Oh - I loved that they said he was VERY good at quiet hands, that he does it instantly! It's your basic folded arms and we told them that he does it for prayers at home, too. Pretty cool to see the overlap and the success in both areas because he's very good at folding arms for prayers at home. Keeping them folded and not eating his food is another story.
He's meeting milestones and goals from the beginning of the year, some of which might have been too low. But cognitively, it was hard to guess what he knew back then. Now we're seeing an explosion of language and participation, even at home at his grumpiest. Interestingly enough, they said that since the class split into 2 smaller groups, lots of kids have been talking more and making better progress. I'm so grateful that the district hired another teacher! These kids definitely needed the space. His teacher seemed great. We're very happy with everyone there.
In his gross motor occupational therapy, Carver's working on catching balls, throwing balls, bouncing balls, swinging on platform swings, scooting on a "bike" with his feet, riding a scooter down a ramp, and lots of jumping. Jumping off steps and jumping around like a frog. It was great to get tips of things we can try at home. That was the OT we met with so I have more details from her.
As far as speech goes, he's labeling really well with one word. They are working towards categorizing items - name a food or a vehicle, etc... I thought that was interesting. I love seeing how the learning process is broken down to individual steps. Also, they are working on using more verbs in his speech. I've been thinking about that, too. simple sentences like "I like milk" and "want" have been goals I've had for us. He says "hold it" (when he wants to touch something) and other verbs that are slipping my mind at the moment, it's definitely an emerging skill that we'll be working on.
It was super cool to take him with us because he knew right where to go, led us up to his classroom and knew which door to go to and everything. It was so fun to see his place! I can't say enough how GRATEFUL I am for preschool - the very best thing to happen to Carver!
First of all... Carver is extremely well behaved at school - no tantrums, no hitting at all. They were really surprised that we even asked. We were surprised that THEY were surprised! For awhile there Carver was saying about school, "hit... sad... cry." And we'd wonder what that was all about! He hits plenty at home and tantrums are just a part of communication between us. It's relieving and disappointing at the same time to know that he's so much better those 3 hours a day he's away from us! (makes me wonder what we are doing wrong...) But mostly I'm grateful that he's good and that because of that, he's able to get the most out of the program.
He's their "color boy" and knows at least 8 colors. I see him doing shapes at home, as well - stars, triangles, squares, circles. He still knows a few letters, but hasn't been as interested in that lately. They said that he answers questions right, that he sits criss-cross applesauce on the floor (they found that the cool cushion his old teacher liked was making him wiggle more), participates in singing time and knows the routine. He helps other students with their coats and backpacks and LOVES to help bring out the heavy car road map every day. He showed us and and just beamed. Too cute.
Oh - I loved that they said he was VERY good at quiet hands, that he does it instantly! It's your basic folded arms and we told them that he does it for prayers at home, too. Pretty cool to see the overlap and the success in both areas because he's very good at folding arms for prayers at home. Keeping them folded and not eating his food is another story.
He's meeting milestones and goals from the beginning of the year, some of which might have been too low. But cognitively, it was hard to guess what he knew back then. Now we're seeing an explosion of language and participation, even at home at his grumpiest. Interestingly enough, they said that since the class split into 2 smaller groups, lots of kids have been talking more and making better progress. I'm so grateful that the district hired another teacher! These kids definitely needed the space. His teacher seemed great. We're very happy with everyone there.
In his gross motor occupational therapy, Carver's working on catching balls, throwing balls, bouncing balls, swinging on platform swings, scooting on a "bike" with his feet, riding a scooter down a ramp, and lots of jumping. Jumping off steps and jumping around like a frog. It was great to get tips of things we can try at home. That was the OT we met with so I have more details from her.
As far as speech goes, he's labeling really well with one word. They are working towards categorizing items - name a food or a vehicle, etc... I thought that was interesting. I love seeing how the learning process is broken down to individual steps. Also, they are working on using more verbs in his speech. I've been thinking about that, too. simple sentences like "I like milk" and "want" have been goals I've had for us. He says "hold it" (when he wants to touch something) and other verbs that are slipping my mind at the moment, it's definitely an emerging skill that we'll be working on.
It was super cool to take him with us because he knew right where to go, led us up to his classroom and knew which door to go to and everything. It was so fun to see his place! I can't say enough how GRATEFUL I am for preschool - the very best thing to happen to Carver!
Monday, February 9, 2009
the smell of drool and other mountains to climb
I realized the other day that I'd been rather subconsciously waiting for SOMETHING to blog about here. And then I remembered that the main point of this blog was to record thoughts and feelings and ideas relating to Carver - everything I don't want to forget. I'm committing to be better at that!
Right now what's on my mind is social interaction. Carver started primary at our church and attends a class for 3 year olds, "sunbeams." The first hour they sit on chairs with lots of other kids, sing songs, listen to a lesson. The next hour is in a little classroom with only his class. This is a HUGE change from the "nursery" he attended before, a 2 hour block with toys and books and snacks. The transition hasn't been easy for us. He wasn't excited to leave nursery, but he likes being with his big sister for the first part, sharing time. And he has lots of friends in his class. His dad sits with him during sharing time and helps him stay on his chair, not run around the classroom, etc... I think the first or second week, he zipped right up the aisle to try and touch the pretend birthday cake on the table in the front of the room. :) Week by week, he's more excited about sunbeams and he likes that Daddy comes with him. He's adjusting.
It's actually much harder for me because I feel like he's outgrowing life as a toddler. He's expected to do more preschooler type activities and his peers are noticing his differences more and more. I've had kids say that he smells bad - either his breath or they say he needs his diaper changed. Now, I'm not losing sleep over what other 3 year olds think - BUT it clues me into what's coming ahead. And honestly, drool smells bad. His shirts sometimes do smell like that. I try and try to get them clean, but we just can't help it. And his peers are all into who's potty-trained and who's not. That's a very normal issue and Carver could care less what the other kids are doing. But someday, some of that is going to sink in.
Last week we went to the park after the bus stop and there were lots of kids from the neighborhood there. Not any truly big kids, everyone was under 10 or so. Carver had the HARDEST time. He couldn't run around and have his space to play on his own, kids kept banging on the metal slide and scaring him (not on purpose) and it was just too much for him. He cried and cried. Sometimes he stopped dead in his tracks and cried. At one point, he came sobbing to me and put his face hard on my shoulder, while I held him and hurt for how frustrated he must be. One of the neighborhood moms asked how old he was. I knew what the underlying question was and told her he was 3, but he has some speech and sensory integration issues. I got an "oh" and then she didn't know what to say, although I could tell it confirmed her suspicions. I don't blame her at all - it's the right kind of question if you want to know what's up with a kid that's not acting his age. But the whole experience left me feeling exhausted and discouraged.
Looking through a different angle, I've seen Carver grow more and more capable of helping around the house. He cleans up his toys better - he especially loves to help rescue all his bath toys as the water goes down the drain. He washes the dishes a little when he plays in the bubbles. The other day he came off the bus holding his little baggie of gum and a chewy tube that he takes to school. He told me, "homework!" He wants to be just like his sisters. That same day when THEY came home, he went running for his backpack to find homework to do with them. I picked up a new alphabet coloring book for him at the store so he has his own homework book. The funny part is that he has very little patience for coloring and table work like that. But the desire to be included is real.
Carver is learning letters - M, O, S, are his best ones. He knows some of the sounds to those and K and T and P. Thanks to the "Letter Factory" for hours and hours of repetition. :) I've been working on counting and wondered if we'd EVER get past 2. Really, he still uses 2 words together MOST often so that makes sense. We've occasionally heard him say "3" and the other day at the park, a QUIET day before the kids came home from school, I was pushing him on the swing and counting each push. He not only said the numbers with me but anticipated a couple of them! WOW! I figured that the movement of the swing was regulating to him, enough to help him get those words out in the right order. It was very cool.
Carver's preschool class has grown and split! He is in with a new teacher, who I've met and really liked. He doesn't mind at all. He's with a friend, Jordan, a little girl that his old teacher told me about. She said that they run around together and are such cute little buddies - pulling on each other's arms to go play. When she first emailed me, she said to ask him about her. I did and his face really did light right up! He said, "snap, snap" like an alligator and I think he was trying to tell me what they played together. I'm so grateful for preschool!
AND Carver has been really growing in his friendship with his little sister, Grace. They play in the bathtub together and get into mischief, too, these days. A couple nights ago after the school science fair, we came in and Grace was super tired and cranky. She sat and cried by the door while I looked for a pacifier. Carver took the one out of his mouth and popped it in hers to calm her down. I LOVE that. He is such a sweet boy!
Right now what's on my mind is social interaction. Carver started primary at our church and attends a class for 3 year olds, "sunbeams." The first hour they sit on chairs with lots of other kids, sing songs, listen to a lesson. The next hour is in a little classroom with only his class. This is a HUGE change from the "nursery" he attended before, a 2 hour block with toys and books and snacks. The transition hasn't been easy for us. He wasn't excited to leave nursery, but he likes being with his big sister for the first part, sharing time. And he has lots of friends in his class. His dad sits with him during sharing time and helps him stay on his chair, not run around the classroom, etc... I think the first or second week, he zipped right up the aisle to try and touch the pretend birthday cake on the table in the front of the room. :) Week by week, he's more excited about sunbeams and he likes that Daddy comes with him. He's adjusting.
It's actually much harder for me because I feel like he's outgrowing life as a toddler. He's expected to do more preschooler type activities and his peers are noticing his differences more and more. I've had kids say that he smells bad - either his breath or they say he needs his diaper changed. Now, I'm not losing sleep over what other 3 year olds think - BUT it clues me into what's coming ahead. And honestly, drool smells bad. His shirts sometimes do smell like that. I try and try to get them clean, but we just can't help it. And his peers are all into who's potty-trained and who's not. That's a very normal issue and Carver could care less what the other kids are doing. But someday, some of that is going to sink in.
Last week we went to the park after the bus stop and there were lots of kids from the neighborhood there. Not any truly big kids, everyone was under 10 or so. Carver had the HARDEST time. He couldn't run around and have his space to play on his own, kids kept banging on the metal slide and scaring him (not on purpose) and it was just too much for him. He cried and cried. Sometimes he stopped dead in his tracks and cried. At one point, he came sobbing to me and put his face hard on my shoulder, while I held him and hurt for how frustrated he must be. One of the neighborhood moms asked how old he was. I knew what the underlying question was and told her he was 3, but he has some speech and sensory integration issues. I got an "oh" and then she didn't know what to say, although I could tell it confirmed her suspicions. I don't blame her at all - it's the right kind of question if you want to know what's up with a kid that's not acting his age. But the whole experience left me feeling exhausted and discouraged.
Looking through a different angle, I've seen Carver grow more and more capable of helping around the house. He cleans up his toys better - he especially loves to help rescue all his bath toys as the water goes down the drain. He washes the dishes a little when he plays in the bubbles. The other day he came off the bus holding his little baggie of gum and a chewy tube that he takes to school. He told me, "homework!" He wants to be just like his sisters. That same day when THEY came home, he went running for his backpack to find homework to do with them. I picked up a new alphabet coloring book for him at the store so he has his own homework book. The funny part is that he has very little patience for coloring and table work like that. But the desire to be included is real.
Carver is learning letters - M, O, S, are his best ones. He knows some of the sounds to those and K and T and P. Thanks to the "Letter Factory" for hours and hours of repetition. :) I've been working on counting and wondered if we'd EVER get past 2. Really, he still uses 2 words together MOST often so that makes sense. We've occasionally heard him say "3" and the other day at the park, a QUIET day before the kids came home from school, I was pushing him on the swing and counting each push. He not only said the numbers with me but anticipated a couple of them! WOW! I figured that the movement of the swing was regulating to him, enough to help him get those words out in the right order. It was very cool.
Carver's preschool class has grown and split! He is in with a new teacher, who I've met and really liked. He doesn't mind at all. He's with a friend, Jordan, a little girl that his old teacher told me about. She said that they run around together and are such cute little buddies - pulling on each other's arms to go play. When she first emailed me, she said to ask him about her. I did and his face really did light right up! He said, "snap, snap" like an alligator and I think he was trying to tell me what they played together. I'm so grateful for preschool!
AND Carver has been really growing in his friendship with his little sister, Grace. They play in the bathtub together and get into mischief, too, these days. A couple nights ago after the school science fair, we came in and Grace was super tired and cranky. She sat and cried by the door while I looked for a pacifier. Carver took the one out of his mouth and popped it in hers to calm her down. I LOVE that. He is such a sweet boy!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Parent Teacher Conference
I met with Carver's teachers on Friday and loved it. We didn't address goals/skills, just chatted about how he's doing, what works and what challenges there are.
She said that he began the year very bus-oriented. He'd listen for cars and trucks and start shouting "bus" if he heard something rumble by. But she's noticed him become more school-oriented, which is good! He comes in super excited and likes to help everyone with their coats and backpacks, which all get hung up. Sometimes that involves yelling, "bus, bus!" and causing a little trouble with those who don't like loud noises. He's also a bit of the town crier at snack time, when he likes to announce, "clean up!" when it's time to clear dishes and wash hands. That brought a smile to my face. He loves that role at home now, too. It's pretty cute.... and loud.
They have circle time after everyone is in and settled and this part is tricky for him because it's hard to sit flat on the ground. He has been doing well with a rubber cushion:
with a wedge shaped foam on top:
His teacher thinks it's hard for him because it stretches his hamstrings and he's a little stiff. I believe it! She feels like he's making progress and now only uses the rubber cushion. I'd like to get one for home use, too, but we'll see how that fits into the budget right now. (I found www.therapyshoppe.com in my searching and it's an AWESOME website. I'm really excited about it!)
We talked awhile about Carver's desire for any attention, negative in particular. He has been known to sweep things off the table at school (just like at home!) and his teacher had a stroke of brilliance one day completely ignoring him. She pointed to the mess and didn't look at him. It took him a minute of waiting for something to happen, but then he hopped down to get the toys. If only I could always be so patient! It's good motivation for me, that's for sure! And it also impresses me to hear how they handle his antics. That same day he struggled to finish his "job" of beading (something he excelled at just two days before), he took 20 minutes to finish it before joining the rest of the class. He heard them moving on and doing fun things and finally finished. He was putting together an "if... then" behavior pattern, which we are working on at home, as well. Hurray!
He loves adult praise and attention so he LOVES his time with the specialists, his speech therapist and physical therapists. That time has been really productive, which is great to hear. He definitely likes one-on-one time with grown-ups. He invites me for that kind of play ALL day! :) I'm glad that it's working to his advantage in therapy.
The class is growing to 14 students in January and his teacher is pushing the district to open another class. It's really too many special need 3 year olds, even for 3 teachers! They don't even have peer models in their class. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, for everyone's sakes. I'm sure it's not easy for the district to balance all the needs in the schools, but this seems like a pretty important one to me.
We talked and laughed together about how Carver's diapers are a little snug and wondered about pull-ups. They had a good point about the stretchy sides being more comfortable. I think I'm still too cheap. And they aren't easier to get on. Besides, they aren't as absorbent since they really aren't intended as diapers. Maybe I'll try another brand. And hopefully Carver potty-trains before his diapers don't reach around him anymore! :)
Overall, I'm impressed and pleased with what I've seen at school. The projects he brings home are well-thought out and represent hours of classroom work, literally. These kids get very specific directions on the smallest details. What patient teachers! They are making all the difference for our little guy!
She said that he began the year very bus-oriented. He'd listen for cars and trucks and start shouting "bus" if he heard something rumble by. But she's noticed him become more school-oriented, which is good! He comes in super excited and likes to help everyone with their coats and backpacks, which all get hung up. Sometimes that involves yelling, "bus, bus!" and causing a little trouble with those who don't like loud noises. He's also a bit of the town crier at snack time, when he likes to announce, "clean up!" when it's time to clear dishes and wash hands. That brought a smile to my face. He loves that role at home now, too. It's pretty cute.... and loud.
They have circle time after everyone is in and settled and this part is tricky for him because it's hard to sit flat on the ground. He has been doing well with a rubber cushion:
with a wedge shaped foam on top:
His teacher thinks it's hard for him because it stretches his hamstrings and he's a little stiff. I believe it! She feels like he's making progress and now only uses the rubber cushion. I'd like to get one for home use, too, but we'll see how that fits into the budget right now. (I found www.therapyshoppe.com in my searching and it's an AWESOME website. I'm really excited about it!)
We talked awhile about Carver's desire for any attention, negative in particular. He has been known to sweep things off the table at school (just like at home!) and his teacher had a stroke of brilliance one day completely ignoring him. She pointed to the mess and didn't look at him. It took him a minute of waiting for something to happen, but then he hopped down to get the toys. If only I could always be so patient! It's good motivation for me, that's for sure! And it also impresses me to hear how they handle his antics. That same day he struggled to finish his "job" of beading (something he excelled at just two days before), he took 20 minutes to finish it before joining the rest of the class. He heard them moving on and doing fun things and finally finished. He was putting together an "if... then" behavior pattern, which we are working on at home, as well. Hurray!
He loves adult praise and attention so he LOVES his time with the specialists, his speech therapist and physical therapists. That time has been really productive, which is great to hear. He definitely likes one-on-one time with grown-ups. He invites me for that kind of play ALL day! :) I'm glad that it's working to his advantage in therapy.
The class is growing to 14 students in January and his teacher is pushing the district to open another class. It's really too many special need 3 year olds, even for 3 teachers! They don't even have peer models in their class. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, for everyone's sakes. I'm sure it's not easy for the district to balance all the needs in the schools, but this seems like a pretty important one to me.
We talked and laughed together about how Carver's diapers are a little snug and wondered about pull-ups. They had a good point about the stretchy sides being more comfortable. I think I'm still too cheap. And they aren't easier to get on. Besides, they aren't as absorbent since they really aren't intended as diapers. Maybe I'll try another brand. And hopefully Carver potty-trains before his diapers don't reach around him anymore! :)
Overall, I'm impressed and pleased with what I've seen at school. The projects he brings home are well-thought out and represent hours of classroom work, literally. These kids get very specific directions on the smallest details. What patient teachers! They are making all the difference for our little guy!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
PRESCHOOL!!!
The big day!! He started preschool yesterday and it went great! He was super excited about the bus ride and wearing his backpack. He saw the bus approach, though, and stuck his thumb right in his mouth (we're really hoping that's not a new trend for him) so he must have been a tiny bit nervous. He climbed on the bus no problem and got all buckled in. Here he's blowing kisses at us:
It's pretty neat, actually. There is a bus driver, obviously, and she had an assistant to help out. There are built in booster seats that fold out of the regular ones so he was buckled in a 5 point harness. He came home happy as a clam, talking about the bus like crazy. He didn't seem worn out or anything, but as the afternoon went on I could tell he was tired. HURRAY!
His preschool teacher called in the afternoon and reported that he'd done great, followed along with the group well and was speaking more than they expected. Good news! His teacher's name is Ms. Maki and she said that he must know her name because when he wanted her, he'd call out "Ma! Ma!" I can totally hear that sound in my head and cringed just a little because it'll get old fast! Maki said that he played kitchen with a couple girls and they were setting the table together. Cute boy! I guess he sucked his thumb a couple times at school, but she said that he was too busy to have it be a problem. That's good news. By the end of the day, however, she could tell he was ready to go home. He was obviously listening for the buses and saying, "home."
Today he woke up REALLY early (6 am I heard dinosaur stomping sounds coming from his room and the light ON!!) and was definitely grumpier. I'm helping in Ellie's class or I'd give him a nap for sure. Too bad.
The bus stop thing is working out great. His bus comes just before it's time to take Lydia to hers. Today was a little tight and I had to send her ahead of us, but made it there in time to kiss her and wave good-bye to her through the window. His returning bus comes at 12ish and we have time to eat lunch quick before taking Ellie to HER bus stop. What could be REALLY crazy is working out great. But 5 bus stops to remember a day?! That's insane. At least Carver's is at our house!
So that's preschool! More on his birthday to come.
Monday, October 6, 2008
the latest
I'm getting behind! Therapy was last week, she brought "thera-putty" which is basically silly putty in various degrees of softness. It's pretty cool, but Carver's afraid of it because I popped a couple air bubbles in it at first, thinking he'd like it. Guess not! Grace loves it, so does everyone else. I like how it sinks back down smooth when you're done but feels so firm when you play with it.
We worked on a puzzle with him (an animal sound kind from Melissa and Doug) and he wasn't very interested in finishing it. We also built towers with wooden blocks and said, "up, up" with each block added. He wasn't interested in the tower until we made a garage for his car and then he was all about helping add blocks to the top! I guess it's always about finding the angle. :)
And now... drum roll, please..... we took away the pacifier! Saturday morning was the last time. I'd been prepping it on Friday by saying things like "where did your pacifier go? Is it on a boat? Did it go on a train? Is it at it's grandma's house?" silly things like that. I believe that helped get the idea of the pacifier being far away, not just in my pocket or in the kitchen drawer. I really think it's helped. So we didn't do a "fairy" or a trade or a big garbage throwing away moment and, while I'm using only good old fashioned lying as my technique, I think it's saving us trauma. Ellie talked about her "happer" in the garbage truck for MONTHS and never liked the stuffed cat we offered as a trade. what's the point? I've just told him it's gone, we don't have it anymore. That's true. Then we hypothesize about where it could have gone and that's that. Bedtime is tricky. He's requiring a lot of singing and arm rubbing, but that's how it started out when we moved him from his crib. It might take a couple weeks, but he'll adjust. As I type, he's fallen asleep on our bed without the "yum-yum." there is definitely hope! :)
It all started because the preschool teacher called and I asked which she'd rather we work on, the pacifier or the potty training. She said pacifier and I figured now was as good a time as any! We're working on getting the bus stops set up, as well. We meet on the 17th to make an IEP (Individual Education Plan or something along those lines) and his first day is his birthday, Oct. 22nd! Wednesday. Wow. So exciting.
He's a super Mommy's boy right now - pretty tiresome, but sweet at the same time. I love being needed and there are few things cuter than being taken by the hand by Carver to go play, unless of course he's whining and crying and pulling hard. I think that happens most often!
I'm sure proud of him for going cold turkey on the yum-yum. I hope this week is okay for all of us!
We worked on a puzzle with him (an animal sound kind from Melissa and Doug) and he wasn't very interested in finishing it. We also built towers with wooden blocks and said, "up, up" with each block added. He wasn't interested in the tower until we made a garage for his car and then he was all about helping add blocks to the top! I guess it's always about finding the angle. :)
And now... drum roll, please..... we took away the pacifier! Saturday morning was the last time. I'd been prepping it on Friday by saying things like "where did your pacifier go? Is it on a boat? Did it go on a train? Is it at it's grandma's house?" silly things like that. I believe that helped get the idea of the pacifier being far away, not just in my pocket or in the kitchen drawer. I really think it's helped. So we didn't do a "fairy" or a trade or a big garbage throwing away moment and, while I'm using only good old fashioned lying as my technique, I think it's saving us trauma. Ellie talked about her "happer" in the garbage truck for MONTHS and never liked the stuffed cat we offered as a trade. what's the point? I've just told him it's gone, we don't have it anymore. That's true. Then we hypothesize about where it could have gone and that's that. Bedtime is tricky. He's requiring a lot of singing and arm rubbing, but that's how it started out when we moved him from his crib. It might take a couple weeks, but he'll adjust. As I type, he's fallen asleep on our bed without the "yum-yum." there is definitely hope! :)
It all started because the preschool teacher called and I asked which she'd rather we work on, the pacifier or the potty training. She said pacifier and I figured now was as good a time as any! We're working on getting the bus stops set up, as well. We meet on the 17th to make an IEP (Individual Education Plan or something along those lines) and his first day is his birthday, Oct. 22nd! Wednesday. Wow. So exciting.
He's a super Mommy's boy right now - pretty tiresome, but sweet at the same time. I love being needed and there are few things cuter than being taken by the hand by Carver to go play, unless of course he's whining and crying and pulling hard. I think that happens most often!
I'm sure proud of him for going cold turkey on the yum-yum. I hope this week is okay for all of us!
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