Thursday, April 9, 2009

routines, separation anxiety

Doesn't Carver look handsome in his hand-me-down sports coat? I LOVE it. He loves it, too - especially sticking his hands in those pockets.

This week is spring break and I've done really well planning activities in the morning so we don't all go crazy at home together. Carver's done really well because I've maintained our afternoon routine almost completely. Lunch, then a little quiet play and playing in beans/rice, make a nest on mom's bed for a couple books (usually Curious George Makes Pancakes then the pop-up truck book, but right now he's fixated on Winnie-the-Pooh "tight squeeze" and we're reading it twice in a row), a nap, then a movie with fruit snacks, a snack, playtime with the girls and have to kinda wing it til dinner. Every minute can't be planned, unfortunately. So we've been successful at spring break. I have a glimmer of hope for the summer. Maybe we'll go outside at the same time every day or something, take a walk or go to a park. We'll get creative, but I think we might survive 2 whole months without preschool. Sigh. That sounds hard!

Onto the mystery of the week. I had to run errands with ALL 4 of my monkeys. It was a little... hmmm... crazy? Definitely. Whiny? That, too. One stop included returning a clear sterilite tote I'd bought at Wal-mart the week before. I'd picked up 4 at once and hadn't noticed a huge hole in the corner of one. So back it had to go. Carver FREAKED out. I completely traumatized him with the transaction. There was a long line (go figure) and so we got to cry about it the whole time we waited for our turn. I'm not sure if telling him ahead of time is a good idea, but he does best with time to get used to things - especially where we're going and what we're doing. Why didn't he understand that it was broken and we didn't want it? He understands the concept of broken. Why was this so heart-breaking?

Then today I returned sandals and a shirt I picked out for Derek at Costco. He didn't like them, so back they went. Carver was super worried about that at home, but cried only off and on. And we walked right up to the counter and he wanted to hand them to the cashier, which he did. (And incidentally, he was telling him "sandals, sandals" and the guy was so not kid-friendly. He ignored him and obviously figured something was "wrong" with Carver. He didn't win many points with me.) Then the freak out began. In fact, I talked to Carver the whole transaction about it and everyone is staring at a preschooler crying inconsolably about returning adult sandals. Is there something I'm missing? This is the sort of experience that makes me wonder again about cognitive delays. It's like something hasn't clicked in his brain, that there is a switch that needs to be flipped so he understands about separation and that we don't form attachment to plastic totes and sandals.

Along the same lines, Carver's finally gotten better about not wailing and crying everytime someone goes to the bathroom. Seriously, he used to fully lose it every single time someone shut the door at our house or at someone else's. Kids, grown-ups, people he loves, people he hardly knows. Now he only does that sometimes. Okay, maybe half the time. But still, that's better. And he doesn't cry and cry when Derek leaves for work. He totally gets that routine now. It's always right after breakfast, it's a very structured part of our day. But I guess you just never know when someone is going to need to use the restroom, not much I can do about that!!

1 comment:

donna said...

He really is growing up, isn't he. I love the picture and how happy he is. How interesting to be so worried about returning things, and you know, I had never picked up on the bathroom anxiety before.

But, then he's come so far in other ways... The world must be a very confusing place for him.