routines, separation anxiety

Doesn't Carver look handsome in his hand-me-down sports coat? I LOVE it. He loves it, too - especially sticking his hands in those pockets.

This week is spring break and I've done really well planning activities in the morning so we don't all go crazy at home together. Carver's done really well because I've maintained our afternoon routine almost completely. Lunch, then a little quiet play and playing in beans/rice, make a nest on mom's bed for a couple books (usually Curious George Makes Pancakes then the pop-up truck book, but right now he's fixated on Winnie-the-Pooh "tight squeeze" and we're reading it twice in a row), a nap, then a movie with fruit snacks, a snack, playtime with the girls and have to kinda wing it til dinner. Every minute can't be planned, unfortunately. So we've been successful at spring break. I have a glimmer of hope for the summer. Maybe we'll go outside at the same time every day or something, take a walk or go to a park. We'll get creative, but I think we might survive 2 whole months without preschool. Sigh. That sounds hard!

Onto the mystery of the week. I had to run errands with ALL 4 of my monkeys. It was a little... hmmm... crazy? Definitely. Whiny? That, too. One stop included returning a clear sterilite tote I'd bought at Wal-mart the week before. I'd picked up 4 at once and hadn't noticed a huge hole in the corner of one. So back it had to go. Carver FREAKED out. I completely traumatized him with the transaction. There was a long line (go figure) and so we got to cry about it the whole time we waited for our turn. I'm not sure if telling him ahead of time is a good idea, but he does best with time to get used to things - especially where we're going and what we're doing. Why didn't he understand that it was broken and we didn't want it? He understands the concept of broken. Why was this so heart-breaking?

Then today I returned sandals and a shirt I picked out for Derek at Costco. He didn't like them, so back they went. Carver was super worried about that at home, but cried only off and on. And we walked right up to the counter and he wanted to hand them to the cashier, which he did. (And incidentally, he was telling him "sandals, sandals" and the guy was so not kid-friendly. He ignored him and obviously figured something was "wrong" with Carver. He didn't win many points with me.) Then the freak out began. In fact, I talked to Carver the whole transaction about it and everyone is staring at a preschooler crying inconsolably about returning adult sandals. Is there something I'm missing? This is the sort of experience that makes me wonder again about cognitive delays. It's like something hasn't clicked in his brain, that there is a switch that needs to be flipped so he understands about separation and that we don't form attachment to plastic totes and sandals.

Along the same lines, Carver's finally gotten better about not wailing and crying everytime someone goes to the bathroom. Seriously, he used to fully lose it every single time someone shut the door at our house or at someone else's. Kids, grown-ups, people he loves, people he hardly knows. Now he only does that sometimes. Okay, maybe half the time. But still, that's better. And he doesn't cry and cry when Derek leaves for work. He totally gets that routine now. It's always right after breakfast, it's a very structured part of our day. But I guess you just never know when someone is going to need to use the restroom, not much I can do about that!!

Shnuggles

Ah, the sweetness of sleeping kiddos. Carver and I have a tradition of "Shnuggles" in the morning. He wakes up around 6:30, which is too early for the little sister he share a room with. So we're thankful he almost always comes to find me instead of flipping on the light in there. I should get up at 6 or 6:30 on my own, but I'm not a morning person and we don't get to bed before 11 so I'm desperately tired when he comes in. I hear his little footsteps across the floor, climbing onto the cedar chest at the foot of my bed and then I feel him climb up beside me. Othertimes I see his face peeking at me from the side of the bed.

He climbs in beside me and wiggles a lot, trying to comfort himself by playing with my hair or stroking my arm. He kicks a little, too, or pushes off my legs - probably seeking propioceptive input. I try to tickle his back, rub his arms or give him tight squeezes and hold his hands. But honestly, I'm mostly wishing like crazy I was still asleep. Some days are more like 5:40 and then I try not to feel just down-right frustrated. He'll stay in bed with me for up to an hour on those days, not as long when it's later.

When he's done, he sits up and tells me "wake-up" or pulls the blanket off me. Lately he likes to tickle my feet. Usually I think this whole routine is a bit frustrating, but I realized yesterday how LUCKY I am that he gives me that time I need to wake up slowly. I love talking about breakfast with him, too. He'll start with "scones? chocolate chip scones?" Nope, Carver. It's not Friday yet. "pancakes?" "mini-wheats?" It's so fun to hear him wonder what we're having that day.

I love that I get to shnuggle with my little man, even for all the kicks and hair twirling in the early morning hours. Because I know that someday (probably soon) he'll outgrow it.