I've been putting off this appointment for years. But since little sister was ready, I decided to try the 2-for-1 approach. She did AMAZINGLY well (which is good and bad as we'll see). She wanted to be first, the dental assistant was wonderful to explain every step and make it fun, she ate up all the attention and let her polish and do flouride and even x-rays. And she's barely 3.
Then we switched and the assistant mistook Carver's size for being more advanced, went right to x-rays and didn't sugar coat it. We spent 10-15 minutes fighting him to hold perfectly still (only happens during a movie if his thumb is in his mouth) and got several very poor pictures of the ends of his teeth. This not only used up all of sister's patience, but all of Carver's. He wouldn't do anything after that. Except spray the water tool. On the station tray and, at the very end, on the window. He was putting the fire out, of course. :)
The blow by blow story is really secondary to the fundamental problems this experience highlighted again.
His sister is passing him up, despite being half his size. I shouldn't have taken them together and set us up for inevitable comparisons.
I really thought I'd talked to the dentist about Carver. But it occurred to me after that I thought we were seeing a hygienist, who knew about Carver, and instead we saw an assistant who didn't have a clue. And didn't pick up on the clues very readily. It wasn't fair to them or Carver or me. But I didn't mean to let that happen. Honestly, how am I supposed to know exactly how he'll react to a new experience? I don't. I do the best I can and then we'll know better for next time.
Hopefully he'll forget and next time we'll go just the two of us to my favorite hygienist and we'll go nice and slow.
And hopefully I WON'T forget and I'll remember to educate everyone as much as possible just in case.
2 comments:
Rachael! I commend you for taking this giant leap of faith and taking Carver to the dentist! It's a very hard thing to do when you know he needs it but you also know he's not going to do well....Logan does tons better at the dentist (and for getting his hair cut) than Carson ever will! Where did you go? We go to Children's Dental Care and Dr. Kenny Ho is our dentist and WELL versed at SPD and it's issues! He even recommended that we take Carson to the dentist every 3 months so he 'gets used to it!' At the in between appointment (3 months), it is NO CHARGE and they pretty much let Carson PLAY and don't push him to do anything. Then, when he goes to his true 6 month appointment, he is better prepared and not scared. We did this for several years (Carson will be 6 next month) and it was just this last time that he let the assistant do the x-rays and clean his teeth!!!
Just be patient and keep exposing him to it! If you aren't going to a dentist that understands SPD or isn't willing to work with you with Carver's needs, then FIND ANOTHER DENTAL OFFICE! Don't worry...his teeth aren't going to fall out...you're doing the best you can and so is Carver! Way to go MOM!!!
Kari's advice is wonderful. So are you! You sure have a lot to remember... Every time... and everywhere.
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